A Dinner Disaster
by HardyBoyz4Eva
Summary: CM Punk/Daniel Bryan, Phil/Daniel. Companion to Boulevard of Broken Dreams. Brie and Nikki Bella are coming for dinner. Phil is not amused. One-Shot. Full list of warnings inside! Please Review!


**Disclaimer:** I don't own anyone, other than BJ.  
 **Rated:** M  
 **Warning(s):** Slash, Past Mpreg, Mpreg, etc.

* * *

Words could not describe how much Phil hated it when Bryan invited his ex-girlfriend, Brie Bella, and her twin sister Nikki over for dinner. It had been happening more and more frequently since the baby was born – by now, it was every month.

It was perhaps only made worse by how much BJ adored his aunts. Phil felt like he'd defected to the other side, the little traitor.

Now, Phil gently worked a fine-toothed comb through the little boy's inky black locks. They were so long now, they almost reached his shoulders. Normally, Phil would've made a point of cutting them by now. After all, he _did_ look a little bit like a girl. But the way the little girls fawned over him at daycare was just too adorable, so he let it slide for now.

Hazel eyes watched Phil in silent wonder. Their boy was always so curious and observant, and Phil wondered just how much he understood about everything that had happened.

After everything they'd been through, they'd finally set the wedding date for three months after BJ was born. And Phil had left him at the altar. To that day, Phil couldn't understand why he'd done it – only that it had absolutely destroyed Bryan in a way he wasn't sure they could come back from. They'd gotten back together six months later, and now were stuck in a sort of limbo.

Nobody had expected things to work out the third time around, especially not Brie. She'd been there to pick up the pieces after Phil had left Bryan at the altar, and she hadn't expected to have to _give him back_. She thought that their relationship was unhealthy, and maybe she was right. But whether or not they stayed together wasn't her call to make.

He lifted the boy into his arms, feeling his little legs wrap around his stomach and his tiny hands settle on his shoulder. The little boy was grinning from ear to ear, his hazel eyes sparkling with mischief… when he grabbed Phil's beard and _yanked_.

Phil's eyes almost popped out of their sockets. "No… No yanking on the beard." He gently loosened the boy's grip, instead choosing to hold his hand. He'd thought the kid had learned from yanking out Phil's lip ring…

That was a traumatic experience that _neither_ wanted to repeat.

"Mama?" Phil was heading downstairs, wanting to make breakfast so that they could get to daycare on-time today. There was a lot he had to get ready for Brie and Nikki's arrival… _joy_.

"What is it, BJ?" He slipped the three-year-old into his booster seat, before getting out a bowl for his Cheerios.

BJ was staring intently at Phil's bare chest, before looking at his own. "When will my drawings appear?"

Phil stared at him for several seconds, completely confused. Then, it dawned on him. He meant the _tattoos_. He chuckled, "When you're a little older," he ruffled the boy's dark locks, "whenever you want them to."

Bryan came downstairs a few minutes later, just as Phil was handing off the bowl of Cheerios to their son. He had a large smile on his face – the only times he'd been so happy were when he'd found out Phil was pregnant, when their son had been born, and when Phil had agreed to marry him. Phil wondered what was so special about today that it warranted such a grin.

"Morning BJ." He kissed the little boy's head, making him laugh.

"Daddy!" He placed a wet, gooey hand on Bryan's arm, coating it in milk and Cheerios. Phil laughed, and Bryan's smile never faltered as he rinsed off his arm and dried it with a paper towel.

Phil raised an eyebrow as Bryan pecked his cheek, before taking the cooking utensils out of his hands and gently bumping him aside so that he could make breakfast. "What's got you in such a good mood today?"

"Isn't waking up to the knowledge that my lover and my beautiful son are waiting downstairs enough to put me in a good mood?" Bryan teased lightly.

Lover. Phil felt his smile falter a little at that. He tried to hide it behind his usual smart-ass smirk, but he knew that Bryan had seen his reaction.

It wasn't like he could blame anyone but himself for it, but for some reason, hearing that he'd been reduced to the status of 'lover' after the whole failed wedding debacle did something to him that he couldn't explain. Bryan didn't even call him his 'boyfriend' anymore. And somehow, he knew that he'd never be his 'fiancé' again.

"Something wrong, Philly?" Daniel asked, concerned by the space-cadet look on Phil's face.

"Nothing's wrong." Phil forced a smile that didn't quite meet his eyes. It was his own fault. He just thought that he was better prepared to deal with the consequences of his actions.

"Okay…" clearly not convinced, but not willing to push the matter further, Daniel finally relented, "Would you mind picking up some stuff for dinner after dropping BJ off at daycare? I want tonight to be special."

 _Yeah, special so that you can woo your ex-girlfriend back into your bed._ Phil's mood darkened perceptively, but again, he did his best to hide it. "Not a problem." He said through gritted teeth. "You done with your breakfast, BJ?"

In answer, BJ flipped over his bowl and dowsed the entire table in milk. Phil paled as the child laughed maniacally.

It was just going to be one of those days.

* * *

An hour later, and Phil and BJ had left for daycare. Bryan breathed a sigh of relief. He was beginning to think that Phil had caught on.

Reaching into the pocket of his sweatpants, he retrieved a small, velvet box and placed it on the counter. Upon opening it, Bryan removed the ring and held it up to the light. It was a refurbished version of the original ring he'd used to propose to Phil – though he'd made a point of getting rid of the original after Phil had left him at the altar.

He didn't want to have any connections to the past, failed engagement. So much had gone wrong with their relationship back then, including their little tiff (that really wasn't all that _little_ ) over Bryan's match at WrestleMania. He wanted to be able to start knew with the two loves of his life, and he was finally able to move forward to put those wheels in motion.

The ring was absolutely breathtaking. The jeweler had gone above and beyond, and he really needed to remember to thank her for everything. It was a simple silver band, with small, cushion-cut black diamonds set in an eternity style. On the inside of the ring was the inscription ' _forever and always yours_ '.

Phil had given him _everything_ , including a beautiful little boy, Bryan Jackson. It was long past time for him to return the favor. He would give him what he should've given him two and a half years ago: his name.

He'd called up Brie and Nikki and asked for their help in making this the proposal that Phil deserved. Understandably, Brie had been less than thrilled by the idea – she didn't understand why he'd open himself up to that kind of pain and heartache after getting left at the altar once. She didn't understand the love that they shared.

He closed the box and slipped it back into his pocket, before he began cleaning up the mess from breakfast. Their little boy certainly was a messy one. He wondered who he'd inherited that from…

Once he'd finished scrubbing everything down, he started to prepare for dinner. Judging by how sour Phil's mood had been earlier, Bryan would put money on the fact that he wouldn't be coming straight home. He'd probably drive around to blow off some steam, and come home a little after lunch time.

They'd have lunch together, maybe have a nice roll in the sack (that was, if Phil wasn't still plotting all of the various ways he could kill Bryan when he returned home), Phil would go to pick up BJ, and Bryan would start to put his plan into motion.

Again, providing that Phil didn't kill him first.

His phone began buzzing on the windowsill. He grabbed it, checking the Caller ID. It was Brie. "Hello?"

" _Hey, Bryan."_ She had the phone on speaker and her windows were down, making it a little difficult to understand her. _"We picked up the flowers you ordered. I have to say, you've outdone yourself."_

Bryan couldn't help but grin. With the Bellas approval, he knew that he'd made a good choice. "Thanks. You think that he'll like them?"

" _If he doesn't, he's lost his mind."_ Bryan tried to ignore the distaste in her tone. He knew that Brie didn't think too highly of his soon-to-be fiancé, but he hoped she could keep her claws in tonight. _"We'll be there in a half hour to help set up."_

"Thanks." He hung up, tossing the phone onto the windowsill. There was still so much that needed to be done before they got here…

* * *

Brie was attempting to work a stubborn stain out of their only nice tablecloth, while Nikki was putting her excellent taste to good use decorating. That's when Bryan heard the unmistakable sound of wheels on gravel. Phil was home. _Shit_.

"He's home – _hide_!" He raced out the front door, hoping to stop him before he walked in and ruined the surprise.

He stumbled out the door and slammed it closed behind him, just in time to receive a weird look from Phil. The former Straight Edge Superstar was unloading the groceries from the car, and Bryan rushed over to help him. Taking the bags out of his arms, he gave him a big smile and tried to draw his attention away from the front door.

"Well, thank you… I mean, I really could've carried those. The kitchen is like, one hundred feet away. But whatever." Phil said. "You at least gonna let me hold the door for you?"

Bryan's eyes grew almost comically wide. And then, he hurriedly shook his head, "No, no, the front door… it's broken."

Phil blinked slowly, letting the words sink in. Then, he frowned. "What the hell do you mean, the door's broken? You just used the front door to come steal the groceries from me!"

"Well… _yeah_ …" a thousand scenarios seemed to swarm in his mind, before he finally offered, "I broke it when I rushed out to help you. We'll just use the back door, no problem."

Phil raised an eyebrow. "But the door looks fine…"

But Bryan was already moving, leaving no room for debate. "What was that, Philly? I didn't hear you."

Phil sighed. He knew, full-well, that there was nothing wrong with the door. What was it that Bryan was trying to hide? And then, Phil's eyes grew wide – was there _someone_ in the house that Bryan didn't want him to see? It couldn't be the Bellas, they weren't supposed to be here for two hours yet. So… could it be… was Bryan… _cheating on him_?

He swallowed hard, shaking his head. No, not after everything they'd been through. Even _before_ the WrestleMania incident, he knew that Bryan would _never_ cross that line. Even if they were just lovers, Bryan absolutely adored their little family and he wouldn't do _anything_ to risk losing them. Not after he'd lost them once.

Bryan brought the bags in and set them down in the back room, making no move to take them to the kitchen. Phil raised an eyebrow. "Some of that stuff will go bad if you don't put it in the fridge, you know."

Bryan smiled at him reassuringly. "I'll put it away in a minute. Why don't you come sit down -,"

Phil cut him off, "Because nobody ever comes back here, and there's an inch of dust on the furniture."

"Alright…" Bryan looked uneasy for a moment, fueling Phil's concerns that he was trying to hide something. "Why don't you let me draw you a bath? You must be awfully sore, with everything you've done today."

Phil was hardly convinced. "Dropping BJ off at daycare and going grocery shopping?"

"Those grocery store lines can be a real bitch."

Phil shrugged. "Fine. I guess a bath couldn't hurt." He started toward the kitchen, "Just let me grab a Pepsi from the fridge."

Bryan was in front of him in the blink of an eye, preventing entrance to the kitchen. Nevertheless, this close to the door, he could smell the slightest hint of lavender. What the hell? Now, his curiosity piqued, he tried to peer over Bryan's shoulder to catch a glimpse of the kitchen. But Bryan placed a hand on his chest and pushed him back gently, denying him the chance.

"I'll get you your Pepsi." Bryan said hurriedly. "You just head upstairs and get undressed. I'll be there in a second, alright?"

Phil obviously wasn't happy, but he relented nonetheless. "Fine." He turned around and started up the back staircase, leaving Bryan to his own devices.

* * *

He started to run the water, making it as hot as possible without running the risk of burning his skin. He added some soothing oils, before leaving it to fill the tub.

Bryan then turned to Phil, who had obediently gotten undressed. He stood in front of the door, stark naked, and completely unashamed. Bryan eyed him hungrily. He loved every inch of skin, every scar, every tattoo… but he absolutely _adored_ the man. This man, who was his everything… who had _given_ him everything.

Reaching forward, he gently ghosted his fingers over the scar from his C-section. Phil shivered at the attention, eyes fluttering closed at the feeling. Even after three years, the skin was still incredibly sensitive. Bryan grinned, watching as Phil's cock twitched, slowly growing hard under Bryan's careful attention.

"It's been so long since we've been together like this…" Bryan whispered huskily. Dropping to his knees in front of Phil, he allowed his lips to ghost over the salty flesh of Phil's member.

"We…" Phil swallowed hard, attempting to regain his composure. When he felt he had control over himself, he continued, "We just had sex last night…"

Bryan hummed in agreement, causing Phil to go weak in the knees. He grabbed the nearby towel rack to stabilize himself. Licking up the length, Bryan pulled back just long enough to say, "But that was nineteen hours ago."

"You counted?" Phil rolled his eyes, and they almost rolled back in his head when Bryan took his entire cock into his mouth, deep-throating him in one smooth motion. "W-What am I gonna do with you?"

Bryan slowly drew back, keeping his lips tight around the thick member. When he reached the head, he suckled it like a lollipop, before pulling off, "You're gonna let me have my way with you."

Bryan pulled back just long enough to turn off the water, before helping Phil into the water. Taking the nearby bar of soap, he wet it in the water, before leisurely drawing it over Phil's skin. He made small, soothing circles over each of his shoulders, his pecs, his stomach… when he felt he was sufficiently soaped-up, he began to lightly massage Phil's tired muscles.

Phil's erection continued to bob in the water, lazily leaking pre-cum. Bryan allowed Phil's head to fall back and rest on his shoulder, his hands sneaking lower… lower… "You torture me."

Bryan kissed the crown of his head. "You know you love it."

"I'd love it even more if you'd finish what you start-," he trailed off in a moan when he felt two of Bryan's fingers slip past his tight ring of muscle to gently massage his prostate.

"Is this what you wanted, baby?" He nibbled on his ear teasingly, other hand coming around to slowly pump Phil's member.

His fingers were in as deep as they could go, scissoring soothingly. Phil was pressing back against him, matching his rhythm pump for pump. _"Fuck me_..."

Bryan chuckled softly. "I believe that's what I'm doing, baby."

Reading the signals Phil's body was giving off, he began to move faster. The water sloshed around his body, rinsing off the soap that had begun to dry on his body. Pumping his cock in time with his thrusts, he quickly brought him to completion. He came with a moan, collapsing in a heap in Bryan's arms.

"Relaxed now, Philly?" Bryan teased, lazily rinsing off the rest of the lather.

"Completely…" Phil moaned.

* * *

That was, of course, until he returned an hour and a half later with their son, expecting another half hour until the Bella twins arrived. And walked in to find them helping Bryan to set the table.

Relaxed? Not exactly.

"Auntie Brie! Auntie Nikki!" BJ exclaimed happily as he was enveloped in the arms of his aunts. And that was when everything began to steadily roll downhill.

Brie wrapped his long locks around her finger, looking at them with disapproval. "How long are you planning on letting his hair grow out, Phil? He looks like a little girl." She shook her head.

"And it looks so greasy." Nikki chimed in. "What've you been putting in it, baby oil?"

Phil bit his cheek until he tasted blood, doing his best to keep any nasty retorts at bay. Even if he couldn't stand them, they were Bryan's guests and he could put up with them… for now. But he _did_ snatch his child back, much to Nikki and Brie's displeasure. He ran soothing fingers through the little boy's hair, which wasn't the least bit greasy.

Dinner was served. Each took their seat at the table, and, unfortunately, Nikki placed herself right next to Phil, with Brie across from him. She claimed that she wanted to be close enough to pinch BJ's chubby little cheeks, but Phil knew better. What she _really_ wanted was close proximity to Phil, so she could continue her bitchy string of comments without Bryan hearing.

"Don't you worry your little self," Brie said, watching as the little boy ate some of his mashed potatoes. And by 'ate', he mostly smeared them all over his face. "Auntie Brie will take you for a haircut tomorrow. You'll look _so_ handsome."

Phil narrowed his eyes at her. "He looks handsome _now_. He's not getting a haircut."

Brie frowned. "Do you _want_ him to get made fun of by the other kids?"

"First of all, he is _not_ getting made fun of. He has _plenty_ of friends from daycare, thank you very much." Phil hissed lowly. "Secondly, my three-year-old shouldn't have to worry about not fitting it because of what he looks like. Looks don't matter."

"Is that the bull that Bryan's been feeding you? Because honey," here, she leaned in, her voice dropping to a lethal whisper, "anyone with eyes can see that you've been letting yourself go."

Really? _Really?_ As much as he hated to sound like the Miz, he seriously couldn't believe that she'd just taken things to that level. Sure, he'd put on a little weight. Who wouldn't, when they were three and a half months pregnant with their second child? Considering how much trouble they'd had the first time around, he hadn't told Bryan yet.

And he really didn't need Brie to just go and take it upon herself to 'accidentally' out something, either. So, he did his best to ignore her. And if she continued to push the matter, he'd just change the subject. Simple, right? Nothing was simple when the Bella twins were concerned.

Phil wiped off the little boy's face, and began to cut up his roast beef. The boy was having trouble stabbing his roast beef with the child safe utensils, and eventually just gave up and used his hands.

Brie's frown deepened. "What, were you raised by wolves? Use your fork, sweetie."

Phil drummed his fingers on the table agitatedly. "Let him use his hands if that's what he wants." Which normally would've driven him up the wall, but if it was the opposite of what Brie wanted, he was completely okay with it.

Brie looked positively scandalized. "So you're _okay_ with your son acting like a mini caveman?"

Phil looked her dead in the eye and said flatly, "I find it abso-fucking-lutely adorable."

It was only a matter of time before BJ was totally wearing his food, and Phil was sure that Brie would have some choice words about that as well. When the boy finished his food (or, rather, was playing with it more than he was eating it), Phil helped him out of his booster seat and started for the stairs, not even bothering to excuse himself.

Bryan called out, concerned, "You okay, Philly? You haven't even touched your food."

Phil didn't even look back. "'M not hungry. I'm gonna take BJ upstairs and give him a bath."

"Okay. If you're sure…" the sound of the bathroom door closing was his only answer.

* * *

An hour later, both the Bella twins were gone and Bryan was on the hunt for his lover. He found him in the nursery, kneeling beside BJ's bed (the little boy had been so excited when he found out that Phil and Bryan had gotten him a big boy bed) and lazily running his fingers through the little boy's hair.

"I'm worried about you, Phil. You didn't touch any of your food." Bryan said softly, not wanting to wake their son.

Phil looked at him out of the corner of his eye. "Sorry, didn't mean to worry you." He yawned. "I just wasn't in the mood to deal with Brie anymore."

Bryan frowned, "Was she causing trouble again?"

Phil chose not to answer. "I've been dreading their visit all day. Let's just say she exceeded expectations." Phil sighed, resting his head on the foot of BJ's bed. "I really don't like it when they come to visit."

"I'm sorry, baby. I should've been paying more attention, so I would've seen that she was upsetting you so I could put a stop to it." He kissed Phil's temple. "I promise – no more dinners. Okay?"

"Really?" Phil couldn't help but grin. "Thank you!"

At this point, Bryan reached into his pocket, pulling out the ring. This wasn't how he had planned on proposing. He'd planned on doing it downstairs, after Brie and Nikki had left, so that they could enjoy the romantic atmosphere he'd worked so hard to create. But somehow, he thought that this might actually suit his love better.

Gently, he took hold of Phil's chin, gently turning his face so that he could look Phil in the eye. Tired olive green eyes bore into his own, and he couldn't wait to take his baby back to their room so that they could sleep and forget about the awful dinner that never should have been.

"There's something that I need to ask you, Philly." Bryan said softly. "You've made me the happiest man alive, given me everything I could've ever wanted – and so much _more_. I love you, Phil. You _are_ my world."

Phil smiled softly. "I love you too."

"And that's why… after everything you've given me, I feel as if it's my turn to return the favor." He pulled out the box and flipped it open. Phil's eyes grew wide. "If you'll have me… I'd like to give you my name."

"Bryan…" Phil trailed off, clearly at a loss for words.

"Will you marry me, Phil?"

Phil swallowed hard, unable to do anything more than nod. And then he leaned forward, claiming Bryan's lips in a brutal kiss that was more teeth and tongue than actual lips. Bryan took his hand and slipped the ring on, heart pounding erratically in his chest. Finally, everything was falling into place. Finally, they would be husband and husband.

And then Phil pulled back, leaning in to whisper in Bryan's ear. "Oh, and just so you know… I'm pregnant."

By the brilliant grin on Bryan's face, Phil knew that the news had just made his night.


End file.
